Aww Hell

Surrounded by our smiling friends,
we’re crammed into walls we all barely fit in,
this was a moment in life that made more sense.
Now as a hundred times before
this crowd was fading into the background,
I was losing myself in your teasing grin.

Looking back it doesn't make much sense.
I thought you were happy, I thought I was.
Did the weight of the world build inside you?
Did you let those thoughts divide you until one day you saw me so differently?

You know I never had much to give, but I gave you all
wishing life could be that simple.
And now your words confuse the hell out of me,
"Don’t ever change?"
If that’s the case then what’s so wrong with me?

You know I’m fucking done trying.
You are a splinter always underneath my skin.
I’m fucking done trying.
You are a splinter always underneath this pale and calloused skin.

With a promise for betterment on your part
and with so much god damn time to kill… guess that I’ll start.
I’m lost in the alleys of cities far from home.
I find shallow pools trying to drown out the memories of you.

Still, I remember summer nights, trading turns through windows,
holding our breath for a year that never came.
When I still hear you crying, from laughing so hard,
well, my stomach drops and it ends.

I’m fucking done trying.
You are a splinter always underneath my skin.
I’m fucking done trying.
You are a splinter always underneath this pale and calloused skin.

Just leave me here alone. Don’t be concerned with where I’m going.
I won’t be coming back this time
I need to leave this shit beyond me.
Maybe in the distance I can learn to sing...
of goodbyes. So goodbye. Fucking goodbye.